The divorce rate has sky-rocketed over the past few years in the World and in Nigeria.
Some studies have revealed that most of the time, women are the ones who take the first step and file the divorce papers, when they feel like their marriage has become a burden. Take a visit to the Lagos State High Courts in Ikeja and Igbosere-Lagos, ask the Registrars for the figures of divorce cases been filed and syou would be shocked at the figures. I don't want to mention the number of divorce cases have appeared in court for this year, double that with that appeared for by other lawyers, that's a huge figure pulled. Trust me, it's love turned to deep hate, you don't want a failed marriage for no particular good reason, so work it out.
See top 10 most common signs that your marriage is doomed and you need to start working on it.
1. You Are No Longer The Great Team You Once Used To be
A marriage creates a very strong bond between two people who love each other. You become one soul trapped in two different bodies, you become an inseparable team that is ready to confront every obstacle and to overcome it, or at least this is how things should be in a perfect marriage. In a healthy relationship, the couple should share tasks and responsibilities, especially when it comes to parenting. However, if you are no longer a team and you have started to work on your own, make plans independently from your spouse or even go on holidays all by yourself, then this is a very strong indicator that your marriage is slowly degrading.
2. Cheating
Cheating is by far the most common cause of divorce nowadays. An old saying states that trust is like a mirror: you may try and fix it after it breaks, but the cracks will always be there to remember you that things will never be the same again. Same applies to cheating spouses: if your husband or wife cheated on you once, there is no guarantee that they will not do it again in the future. This is why many people choose not to live with this uncertainty and they take fate in their own hands, by filing the divorce papers. Infidelity is a serious issue that can wreak havoc on somebody’s mental and emotional state.
3. You Are No Longer On The Same Wavelength
At first, every couple shares the same ideals and plans for the future. If you both wanted to settle down, have a couple of kids and live the American dream and one of you has suddenly shifted his point of view, then you might have a problem. This is the first sign that you two are no longer on the same wavelength. A marriage does involve some compromise, you need to take into account the needs and desires of your significant other. A healthy and long-lasting marriage is based on communication and affection, and if you start to disagree on topics that seemed irrelevant before (like where you two should spend your holidays, for instance), then this is an alarm signal that should not be ignored.
4. Routine And Lack Of Communication Have Started To Interfere With Your Marriage
There is nothing more bothersome in a relationship than routine. If you two have stopped communicating and sharing ideas, then your marriage is slowly eroding. Every marriage is based on a solid foundation of trust, mutual respect and flawless communication. If all you ever talk about is mundane things, then this is a bad sign.
5. Your Intimate Life Is Degrading, Slowly But Surely
As the years pass, the sexual desire diminishes and this is a perfectly normal thing. There is nothing to be worried about if your sexual life is not as satisfying as it was when you got married, but if you are still young and you avoid being intimate with each other, then that should get you thinking. If sexual attraction is gone, then your marriage is doomed: while it is true that there are other aspects that are far more important than sex, sexual intercourse does play an important role as well.
6. Money Becomes An Issue
If you had a common budget until not too long ago and one of you has started to show increased interest in the other one’s savings, debts, investments and earnings, then this may be another sign that you two no longer get along as you used to. As a matter of fact, this unusual interest in the other one’s finances can be a sign that your spouse thinks about the financial outcome in a potential break-up. Money should not be an issue in a marriage, but it can become an issue during a divorce!
7. You Fight More Often Than Before
There are minor misunderstandings and fights in every couple, and that is fine as long as you two share the same bed and say the magic words at the end of the day. However, if you have started to fight every time you talk and you no longer feel that joy of sharing things or simply discussing with your significant other, you may want to rethink your position.
8. The Relationship Becomes Abusive
This is one of the most obvious (and most disappointing) signs that your marriage is doomed. If one of the spouses becomes abusive, be it verbally or physically, then there is usually little you can do to get your marriage back on track. Verbal abuse is the first sign that you two have stopped respecting each other, and from that point there is only a small step until you get divorced.
9. You No Longer Enjoy Going Home And Seeing Your Spouse
During the first months or years of marriage, you can’t wait to finish work just to get home to your significant other. However, this often changes throughout the years: if you start hanging out with your friends more or you do anything else just to avoid going home after work, then deep in your subconscious you know that you no longer feel that joy of seeing the one you love.
10. You No Longer Go To Family Gatherings Together
Last, but not least, if your spouse stops coming to the traditional family gatherings for Thanksgiving or Christmas, then you should ask yourself some questions. Of course, sometimes your spouse may be too busy to get there in time, but if he or she skips family meetings on a regular basis, this might be a sign that something is wrong.
Top ten signs of doomed marriage excerpts Culled from Daily Legals
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