Domestic Violence- My Summary Points: Septuagenarian Alleges Battery And Assault By Wife, Wants Divorce

 

Before I share the above headed story, let me give a summary definition of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

 

Domestic violence (also known as domestic abuse or spousal abuse) occurs when a family member, partner or ex-partner attempts to physically or psychologically dominate another. Domestic violence often refers to violence between spouses, or spousal abuse but can also include cohabitants and non-married intimate partners. Domestic violence occurs in all cultures; people of all races, ethnicities, religions, sexes and classes can be perpetrators of domestic violence. Domestic violence is perpetrated by both men and women.

 

In Nigeria, it is popularly assumed that only females face domestic violence been the weaker sex, this assertion is wrong and I can authoritatively tell you men do face domestic violence as much as women do, it might not be mostly physical assault but (doesn't exclude physical assault) could be economic/financial, psychological and emotional assault or abuse.

 

Nigerian Man as case study; It is rare to see a man voice out the fact he is facing domestic violence, why is that? He might be laughed out, booed, called a weakling behind his back by his friends or colleagues and smirked for not calling the shots as a MAN.

 

 Due to some of this instances mentioned, hardly would you see a man voice out the trauma he is undergoing rather he gulps beers to soak in the feeling or better still seeks solace outside his home or in cases of domestic violence perpetrated in workplace, he emotionally sinks in, becomes dejected or begins to have complex issues.   

 

From my point of view, it is a brave act for anyone who has gone through any form of domestic violence to speak out and insist on help, not to mention a full grown man.  

 

Further clarification; the term domestic violence covers:

• physical abuse, such as punching or kicking
• sexual abuse, which includes any kind of unwanted sexual contact
• psychological abuse, which includes intimidating someone, harassing them, damaging their property, or threatening them with physical or sexual abuse.
• economic/financial abuse, which includes a partner or spouse or a person in any kind of relationship withholds your pay packet or controls the finance without any thought of both partners or parties sitting through to organize their finances or incomes .

Read  news story on a case of domestic violence as reported by PM News after the cut........

 

A 75-year-old man, Fashola Fakorede, on Thursday urged a Customary Court, in the Lagos suburb of Igando, to dissolve his marriage to his wife, Funke, 49, for allegedly beating him.

 

Fakorede told the Nigerian customary court that his wife had turned him into a punching bag and also inflicted injuries over his body.

 

“My wife wants to kill me. She beats me every day. I don’t want to die now, save my life. My wife always beats me if I asked of food or anything. She has turned it to a routine affair, all the scars on my body are as a result of her battery on me,’’ he said.

 

Fakorede said his wife no longer takes care of him, adding, “she goes out and returns home at will without seeking my permission. She can go out for days and if I queried her, she will hit me with any dangerous weapon she can lay her hand on at that moment.

Illustration: A woman beating her husband.

“And my daughter is also taking her footstep, she brings home different men and my wife will not query her. So, I sent her away from my house,’’ he said.

 

He urged the court to dissolve the union, saying that he was no longer in love with her and was tired of the regular battery, which had led to his ill-health.

 

“I am tired of the constant beating, I am afraid this woman will kill me one day. I am not ready to die now,’’ he pleaded.

 

Funke, a trader, denied the allegations, saying that she did not beat her husband and has always taken good care of him and respected him.

 

The mother of three, however, accused her husband of denying the children the right to go to school.

“My husband is unable to send any of his three children to secondary school. My husband is not responsible. None of our children went to secondary school, all of them stopped schooling at primary school,” she said.

 

She said her husband had disowned his daughter, and urged the court not to grant his wish as she still loved him.

 

“I have no anywhere to go as no man will want to marry me at my age,’’

 

The judge, Mr R. I. Adeyeri, adjourned the case till 25 November for further hearing.